Behind the Zoom Bookshelf: Lessons from my virtual backdrop on society and the human condition.
As we all have been showing off our bookshelves in our virtual backdrops, I have decided to do a series of blog posts deep-diving into the books that can be spotted on my shelves.
I’ve pulled out some lessons and quotes that resonated with me. As we carve out a better future for everyone, let’s take time to reflect on what knowledge and experience we have absorbed from the past.
I’d love to hear if you’ve read the books I mention and what you took from them. Reach out to me on my contact page to let me know. Also, please let me know what must-reads I’ve missed from each category!
Caption: Pile of books on ‘society’.
‘Stigma: Notes on the Management of Spoiled Identity’, by Erving Goffman.
Caption: Photo of the book ‘Stigma’.
What Lynn Learned: This book is striking as it is relevant to the present day in depicting how certain identities are othered and shamed by society; yet also is highly problematic in its use of – by current standards - stigmatising and non-inclusive language. It’s fascinating how some things have not shifted at all over time, yet others have drastically changed.
Fave quote:
(Framing note: a fave quote as it is fascinating that such dated language is being used to describe a phenomenon that continues to this day)
“Each time someone with a particular stigma makes a spectacle of himself by breaking a law, winning a prize, or becoming a first of his kind, a local community may take gossipy note of this; these events can even make news in the mass media of the wider society. In any case, they who share the noted person's stigma suddenly become accessible to the normals immediately around and become subject to a slight transfer of credit or discredit to themselves. Their situation thus leads them easily into living in a world of publicized heroes and villains of their own stripe, their relation to this world being underlined by immediate associates, both normal and otherwise, who bring them news about how one of their kind has faired.”
Scribble scale: I have a delicate second-hand copy so I felt I had to treat the pages with care.
Why it’s relevant now: Although COVID has brought an resurgence of ‘community’, we need to ensure that the society we are creating works for us all. We need to take an active effort to forge a world which has less of ‘us’ versus ‘them’.
Dive in now: ThoughtCo gives a sweet summary of the key ideas.
‘How to Be Alone’, by Sara Maitland.
Caption: Photo of the book ‘How to be alone’.
What Lynn Learned: I learned a wonderful combination of, 1) how my attitudes to being alone had been shaped by history and society, and 2) ways to shift this thinking and find ways to be more comfortable with myself. A crucial #Adulting moment.
Fave quotes:
‘Respect but do not fear your own fear. Do not let it come between you and something that might be deeply enjoyable. Remember it is quite normal to be a bit frightened of being alone. Most of us grew up in a social environment that sent out the explicit message that solitude was bad for you: it was bad for your health (especially your mental health) and bad for your 'character' too.’
‘We know that solitude is almost a necessity for creativity and the development of a genuinely and richly autonomous sense of identity.’
Scribble scale: This is the cutest little pocket-sized book that I simply couldn’t scribble on.
Why it’s relevant now: Lockdown. Self-isolation. Nuff said.
Dive in now: Head over to the School of Life website, who published this book, and get wish-listing their shop!
‘Status Anxiety’, by Alain de Botton.
What Lynn Learned: As someone who has followed a different path in my education and my career to my peers, this helped me appreciate the power and root of my comparisons. All success is societally and culturally benchmarked.
Fave quotes:
‘Every adult life could be said to be defined by two great love stories. The first - the story of our quest for sexual love - is well known and well charted, its vagaries form the staple of music and literature, it is socially accepted and celebrated. The second - the story of our quest for love from the world - is a more secret and shameful tale. If mentioned, it tends to be in caustic, mocking terms, as something of interest chiefly to envious or deficient souls, or else the drive for status is interpreted in an economic sense alone. And yet this second love story is no less intense than the first, it is no less complicated, important or universal, and its setbacks are no less painful. There is heartbreak here too.”
“Wealth is not an absolute. It is relative to desire. Every time we yearn for something we cannot afford, we grow poorer, whatever our resources. And every time we feel satisfied with what we have, we can be counted as rich, however little we may actually possess.”
“To be shown love is to feel ourselves the object of concern: our presence is noted, our name is registered, our views are listened to, our failings are treated with indulgence and our needs are ministered to. And under such care, we flourish.”
Scribble scale: Lots of biro underlines.
Why it’s relevant now: At times of great uncertainty, we need to turn to our great thinkers. If anyone has answers, it will be amongst De Botton’s wisdom.
Dive in now: Set aside a couple of hours, explore his website and expand your mind.
‘Selected Diaries (Vintage Classics Woolf Series)’, by Virginia Woolf.
Caption: Photo of the book ‘Virgina Woolf Selected Diaries’.
What Lynn Learned: Virginia Woolf has a beautiful way of capturing the existential angst of the human condition, even more so in her personal writings over her prose or poetry.
Fave quotes:
‘I think I have earned myself a headache and a holiday’
‘He has summed up his own position accurately as that as one who finds himself lonely if alone, and bored if in company’
‘I am so raddled and raked with people, noise, telephones’
‘in that crowded pink hot room we sat for two hours trying to beat up subjects for conversation’
‘Yet I have some restless searcher in me. Why is there not a discovery in life? Something I can lay my hands on and say, ‘this is it’?’
‘Everything is such an effort; so unreal; what I say is so remote from what I feel; their standards so different from mine; I strain myself perpetually with trying to provide the right cakes, the right jokes, the right affection and inquiries’
Scribble scale: Probably my most scribbled book of all time. Well thumbed, highlighted, pages turned down….
Why it’s relevant now: There are so many wonderful quotes in this book about walking alone, busy brains and the human condition – all of which resonate during the COVID experience.
Dive in now: Get a flavour for her great insights with these 21 Memorable Virginia Woolf Quotes.
